The Four Agreements
If you ever had the feeling that others do things because of you, please read "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. Excellent advice from a Toltec Wizard and Master. The Four Agreements are: 1.) Be Impeccable with Your Word -- Have integrity as to what you say 2.) Don't Take Anything Personally -- My interpretation is this: everyone is in their own world, their own dream! It's not about you, it's about them! 3.) Don't Make Assumptions 4.) Always do Your Best -- funny enough, this one is right from the Boy Scouts of America Cub Scout Manual and promise!
I love this book, and keep it at my bedside. Recently, a friend of mine was having a bit of a problem. She applied to be an artists' model from an artist in Spokane. The artist and my friend were corresponding via email nicely, and all was well, until she told him to look at her blog.
There, (OH HORRORS!) was her age - 43. He stopped writing to her, and she broke two of the agreements, No. 1 and No. 2 (see above).
When she told me the story, I told her, "don't worry, he'll call". Knowing it was not about her, her age, or anything like that.
Here is her email she wrote to me today:
Hi Gloria, I just thought it was funny that I was a bit touchy about feeling 'dropped'. (By that artist who wants to hire a model) I got on line and found a very nice letter from him and yes he is still interested but ran into some major, unexpected house costs (roof sprung leaks). I just wanted to tell you, "You were right" and I'm glad you were.I get back to you when I know my schedule. Looking forward to modeling again.
I think the most satisfying thing about this encounter and the advice I gave my friend was that I was right, and I helped her--it's all about ME! I told her about "The Four Agreements". I'm definitely a big fan of Don Miguel Ruiz. I heard about this book when Ellen Degeneres had talked about it an aritcle I read about Ellen in some popular magazine I can't recall now.
Here is my reply to my friend:
Good to hear that. One book I would really recommend for you is: The four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I keep it by my bedside. It's a very short, good read. and very helpful.
One of the agreements you must make with yourself is: "don't take it personally". Here's what the jacket flap states about Agreement Number 2.) "Don't take ANYTHING personally":
"Nothing others say and do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, and their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering".
So many times, too numerous to count, I was guilty of this, and realized most folks are in their "own world" and really don't take notice of your world, (only if they must intersect somehow, or interact with your world!).
This is too true. IT's all about HIM, and HIS problems, not about you --- hence, don't take it personally!